You live in your head.

Photo by Wonderlane on Unsplash

I’ve argued in my previous articles that your environment, both physical and emotional, influences your behavior and state of mind. Your environment can enable healthy or bad habits, limit your abilities and even shatter your self-esteem. If you want to change, your environment needs to change. Taking care of your environment is a big step to improve your mental health.
Let’s go deeper into the details and go through a few examples of what your home environment tells you about you.

1. you don’t put personal items like collections out in your living room.

While the amount of personal or decorative items you own tells you more about who you are, where you…

a poem

Photo by M. on Unsplash

Always forgive your mother,
even when she’s done you wrong.

Always say you’re sorry,
or pretend nothing’s going on.

Never ignore the warning signs,
the face twitch, the silence,

always watch your back,
don’t turn away when she’s quiet.

Always forgive your mother,
after she’s thrown all your stuff away.

You should have listened to her,
it’s your job to make everything okay.

She’s got so much to say,
listen to her every word,

about how much she hates you,
she’ll make sure she won’t be ignored.

Don’t talk to others about what she did,
secrets stay in the family.

After three years of being terrified of the world.

Photo by Mario Azzi on Unsplash

It wasn’t until years later that I realized what kept me locked in my room. The crippling sensation that is depression can bring everything but your breathing to a stop and paralyze you in a perpetuating downfall; you fail, ergo you fall, ergo you fail.

My family tried to help me by taking me on walks as if I was a dog lacking attention. My therapist medicated me, which only made me want to sleep more. I was terrified of reading my e-mails or answering my phone. I would only go outside if I had no other choice. …

A violent heart

stock photo’s by Hugo Delauney, Jeremy Bishop, edited by author.

Please, stop closing your eyes. I love staring into them and read your every thought. But since he broke your heart, you keep closing them to let the tears fall. I sit in front of you, and I feel so aware that you’re here. You lean your arm to the train’s window, swinging so gently as if you hope the train will rock you to sleep.
Stay awake a little longer, I’ll bring you home. I will once again let you stain my shirt and hold myself steady, so you won’t feel my own body tremble. I can feel what…

A poem

Photo by Karim MANJRA on Unsplash

At least, not the I-love-him kind of feelings,
or the I-miss-him type of feelings.

But the I-hate-him type,
the he-did-this-to-me type.

The boiling of my blood,
the crawling of my skin,

the tossing in my bed kind,
thinking of his sins.

Dreaming of revenge
falling off the edge,

realizing all this time
he wanted it to end.

The I-long-to-hurt-him feeling,
be the one to mislead him.

Hold him in my arms again,
and be the one to do the leaving.

Just long enough to smell his skin,
and feel his eyes staring at my bottom lip.

Big brown eyes staring…

Hey friend

Photo by Maria Lysenko on Unsplash

It was good to see you again after so long. Corona time is such a mess. We haven’t seen each other since May.

You looked well enough. I know you’ve not been feeling well. Your depression plagues you while college has become a nightmare since it’s moved online. Just because we’re computer nerds doesn’t mean we love being stuck to our screen all day, right?

I did notice something about the way you looked that made me wonder if I should say something. I’ve been hesitant because I don’t want to insult you or make you think it matters to…

Photo by Lance Anderson on Unsplash

Motivation can be elusive and fleeting. You have a ton of projects in mind, and you feel ready to start your new life. But, you are constantly distracted by other things, and you can’t get yourself to sit down and work on your goals.

I’ve been there: I go to bed excited for a new day, but I wake up tired, and I don’t get ready for the day until the start of noon. By the time I am ready, I give up and decide to try again tomorrow. Somehow, Netflix was more interesting, and I waste the day thinking…

a poem

Photo by Denys Argyriou on Unsplash

There comes a time
when the person you see
is no longer the person
you want to be.

I’ve died before,
but I’ve always come back,
because the truth is
I don’t really know who I am.

But I have to embrace it
that I am so much more,
than the surface makes me to be
and furthermore,

I’ve never been more sure
that I’ve earned all that I got,
accomplished everything you see
and to make sure it never stops,

I must hold on to me,
hold on to what I see,
hold on to what makes me

Here is what I do.

Photo by MIO ITO on Unsplash

It feels like I make the same resolutions, year after year, and I never change.
At least, that is how I used to feel before I changed how I approached the new year.
The effects of new year’s eve are symbolic and psychological. Realistically, when you wake up on the first of January, the variables are the same as the day before: nothing has changed. The fresh start is in your mind.

But, that’s healthy.

It is healthy to take a moment to reflect and realize that you have changed, that you are not the same person anymore, and thus some things should…

Terrinia Tells

My stories and articles revolve around the state of mind, and its perspective of the world. Twitter @TerriniaT Instagram: territellstales

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